We don’t want to just survive. Instead, we’re designed to want to figure out the world, extract meaning from it and find our place in it. We want to feel a sense of significance.
To do this, try three questions to shift your mindset and the mindsets of those you’re working with. These can help your staff, and versions of this can help clients.
First question
What have you tried so far?
Most people say, “Have you tried this yet?” That’s a very different question. “What have you tried so far?” starts by meeting where people are, and you’re going to hear what they have done.
Second question
What else should we consider in this situation?
The challenge for most of us is that when we are busy doing what we need to do, we get this very narrow vision of what is going on. We miss the other pieces.
Third question
What do you think the next step should be?
This question is important because of what it is not. Notice this question is not, “What do you need from me?” and it isn’t, “How can I help?” Those can be Questions 4 and 5, but it’s a disservice if that is Question 3, because this is how we build capacity in the people around us and for ourselves.
The reality is when people feel like they are part of things, they feel like they matter. When people feel like they are valued, they just add more value.
Sara Ross is a leadership and workplace expert, founder and chief vitality officer at BrainAmped, author, and motivational speaker. This article was excerpted from her 2025 MDRT EDGE presentation, “Three questions to spark curiosity and expand capacity for you and your team.” (MDRT member-exclusive content)
These are great! I’ve also used and liked the question: “If you had unlimited resource of time and/or money, what would you do? … with your life… in this situation… for your family… in your business? Very open-ended and easily adaptable to the situation or person.