How to help clients through divorce

Finding yourself advising clients going through divorce is not for the faint of heart. The key is to help them move past the emotional turmoil and deal with the assets as if they were negotiating a business deal. The challenges and pitfalls are many, but the benefits are rewarding and worthwhile.

I am a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. The CDFA designation allows me to analyze the financial effects of divorce and settlement agreements to illustrate the short- and long-term effects of a proposed division of assets. A CDFA can be of help to couples going through divorce in the following ways:

• Understanding the divorce process
• Preserving the family estate
• Dealing with the emotional aspects of certain assets
• Helping to set expectations
• Learning how not to cross the line
• Moving your clients to the next phase of their life

Money makes people angry, and it makes them anxious! This is why understanding money is very important. In some relationships, the reason for the breakdown is simply the fact that one spouse can no longer handle the controlling nature of the other. You may have clients who have never had to deal with issues surrounding the financial well-being of themselves or their family. You may find yourself in the role of supporter and educator.

Understanding the process

Unfortunately, not all lawyers are the same or prefer to work in all methods of settlement. People would not go to an eye surgeon to have their gallbladder taken out, nor should they engage a lawyer who likes to litigate if they can settle their differences by alternative dispute resolution.

Being able to outline the various methods of settlement and helping clients realize that by directing the process they will save on legal fees is a huge step in preserving the family estate. If clients can determine which process best suits their situation and then find a practitioner who prefers to work with that method, and all parties agree, this can be a huge cost saving, both emotionally and financially.

Mediation is the fairest and least expensive way to settle a dispute. A trained third party helps the two sides come to an agreement. It is then put into a legal document to protect both parties. By using this method, the majority of the family assets are retained for the family. If a single issue cannot be settled in this manner, other options can be engaged.

When suggesting this method to a client, you must first understand whether both parties are willing and capable of settling their affairs in this matter.

If you are aware of a huge power imbalance in the relationship, then a trained mediator will not take the case on. If you have any indication of domestic violence, this is not an option.

However, if your parties are reasonable and willing to settle in a fair manner, then statistically it has been proven that these types of agreements are more satisfying to the people involved and therefore are usually adhered to.

Judy Byle-Jones, CLU, ChFC, is a 35-year MDRT member, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Hear more about helping clients through divorce in the December episode of MDRT Presents.