As a financial advisor, you’re constantly communicating with your clients. And while many conversations may be easy, there are plenty of difficult, yet necessary, discussions with clients about death, divorce, job loss, medical needs and the list of stressful topics goes on. For clients to feel confident in your guidance and plans, you must calmly navigate these challenging conversations.
To help with this, try these five mindfulness practices to maintain a calm center during any stressful interaction in your life.
Own your discomfort
Think of the times where you’ve experienced discomfort. What do you usually do with it? Often, we like to ignore it, pretend it’s not there or get rid of it as fast as we can.
I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who likes feeling uncomfortable. This is because we perceive uneasiness in a conversation as dangerous, which means our nervous system is like, “Hey, we must protect ourselves now.” That’s when we say things we don’t mean, ramble or overreact.
To be able to find calm, practice owning the uneasy sensation, acknowledging it and soothing it. When our discomfort is seen by us and calmed by us, it creates the bridge between stimulus and response.
Focus on the present
When we’re in difficult interactions, we can easily get lost in the other person’s or group’s words, and our nervous system goes into overdrive. When this happens, we can fly off the handle, shut down, get passive-aggressive and so forth.
The practice here, after noticing the uneasy sensation, is to focus on the present moment instead of the desired outcome. Refocusing and redirecting our attention to the present moment (what are my feet doing, belly doing, hands doing) helps us feel grounded, balanced and centered again.
Take a breath
During hard conversations, our heart starts beating faster. We may begin to sweat more and feel discomfort in our bodies. It’s hard to get back to a base heart rate once it’s been elevated. The only way to find calm in the moment is to take deep breaths.
Eyes toward another
When we’re focused on our own agenda and we notice the sensation of discomfort in the body, we can use the practice of turning toward the other and seeing them through friendly eyes to help reestablish connection.
Self-communication
We plan for important conversations and meetings by focusing on the words we’re going to use with others. We rarely, if ever, think about what we need to say to ourselves to keep our cool during these moments. It’s important to make sure we identify the word — or words — that help us feel calm in stressful moments. For me, it’s the word “soften.”
Once you identify these words, when you feel discomfort in the body during difficult interactions, you can silently say those words to yourself. It will relax the moment, making it easier for you to show up for your clients in the way they need.
These practices will make stressful and challenging conversations easier to navigate. They will also help you be more in touch with those you’re working with, showing yourself and others that you can handle the pressures that come with your position.
Cynthia Kane is a communications coach and the CEO and founder of the Kane Intentional Communication Institute LLC. This blog post has been adapted from her new book “The Pause Principle: How to Keep Your Cool in Tough Situations.” You can see more from Kane in the video, “Feel more confident by ending negative self-talk.“
For more tips to take your communication abilities to the next level, read
