How to show clients you are both a professional and a person

Steven A. Plewes, CLU, ChFC, used to wear a suit and tie to all of his meetings with clients. He was friendly but always very business-like. Until he visited one particular couple at their home and couldn’t get past the door.

“I thought she was kidding at first,” the 30-year MDRT member from Germantown, Maryland, remembered. “She said, ‘No, I’m serious; I won’t let you in with a tie.’”

He took off his tie for that meeting, and was informed before the next one that he would be staying for dinner. The clients told him that by letting down his guard and allowing the professional relationship to feel personal, he was a regular person with no agenda.

“From that point on, I realized it was OK to just be myself,” Plewes said. “I didn’t need to impress anybody. I just needed to let them know I was committed to helping them. We could have fun and get the work done as well.”

Establishing clarity

For Plewes, who strives to conduct himself the same way in a professional or social situation, friendship with a client is an extra incentive toward disclosure. “We’re friends,” he’ll say, “but I need to make sure we do this the right way.”

He recognizes that a friendship could create the possibility of holding back opinions that may cause conflict, but adds that advisors should think about it like a doctor who would tell a patient a difficult truth even though they were friends. He also identifies how the professional relationship stays in the back of the mind in social situations. Perhaps an advisor would have an extra round of drinks with old college friends, but not with friends who are also clients.

“There are no TMZ moments here where somebody woke up embarrassed about what happened the day before,” he said. “Most of the time, they’re just very fun and normal social encounters that we have. Over the years, you develop a bit of an instinct about where to draw lines.”

Read more about setting boundaries when work and friendships collide.

Written by Matt Pais, MDRT Content Specialist