3 lessons from parenthood that will make you a better leader

By Adam A. Solano Jr., CRPC

The picture below is one of my all-time favorites. It was taken in 2005 on a Friday after work when my four children begged me to help them with a project outside. Eager to be done at the office, I willingly let them pull me to the backyard.

Now, if you’re like me, quality time with your young children after a long week of work entails reading a book, pushing them on the swing set or going for a walk. All of which I consider “low-key, high-payoff” relational activity.

As we walked into the yard, I received my instructions — help them color in every single brick in the patio with colored chalk. And the rules were set: Use every color. Do not have two bricks of the same color together. Every brick must be completely done. This was not the low-key activity I was hoping for.

When we completed the tedious project, this picture was taken. It now reminds me of that “sweet season” of my young family life. If I had gotten my way, this moment and my favorite picture would have been lost.

So, this started me thinking: What lessons have I learned from being a father that have helped me be a better leader? I came up with this list.

1.    Have a vision

There must be a philosophy or an operating system to your business — one that is driven and shaped by you. There is too much going on in life that can take you off course. Your business philosophy needs to be driven into the culture of your practice, just like it is in the culture of your home and family life.

2.    It’s OK if they don’t get it at first

One of my assistants is fond of telling me I have my Ph.D. in this business. She isn’t literally speaking of a degree but rather of my mastery over technical aspects of our profession and the operation of our practice. Here is an example: Have you ever had one of your staff tell you they can’t find a client file or a document only to have you discover it immediately? Similarly, there have been times when I have asked my son to get me a tool from the garage. Invariably, 10 minutes later, I’m showing him (again) where we keep everything. Don’t expect mastery in others when you have spent years or decades acquiring it.

3.    Celebrate

I just celebrated 25 years in our profession. It’s important to revel in a significant achievement, but I would argue that acknowledging the smaller commitments can be more powerful. For example, I believe celebrating my daughter’s zealous late-night dedication to memorizing her lines in a play have esteemed her more than the standing ovation when the curtain drew to a close. In the office, we celebrate work anniversaries, but we also try to celebrate and acknowledge specific things done consistently well.

Read six more lessons in “Parenting can teach leadership skills.”

Adam Solano is a 21-year MDRT member from Grayslake, Illinois.